The house was measured last Friday.
It's feeling a little inadequate.
Just kidding.
I tell ya, Kurt has really been moving us forward, which is a good thing. Left to our own devices--with my busy-ness, Pete's seventeen music projects, life in general, and any underlying psychological issues I have, we might falter a bit. He's been on top of getting things scheduled with us, from initial meeting to follow-ups, to meeting the builder and signing the papers, and now, everything after. Tom and Sara came over Friday afternoon to measure, and I spent the two hours crocheting. It was quite enjoyable. They went from basement to attic to outside, and I am excited to see a floor plan. Right away, Kurt was ready to schedule the brainstorming session that will get the Master Plan rolling, which is great. We are on track to do that in the beginning of December. Everyone from Shelter will get to meet the house, and then we will meet at the office with the builder, for a couple of hours, and hash out some ideas. I love that we get input from many different people and that the builder will be participating. Even better is that I will feel completely comfortable asserting myself when I have opinions. I believe that it will actually be fun.
Kurt, from Shelter, came over last night with paperwork to sign, and he invited a builder he thought would be good for us. Cheri, of Haram Restorers, works on old houses, and seemed excited about our little house and eager to work with us. I have to admit that my latent feminist tendencies also dig that she's a chick. I definitely felt that, as with Kurt and the other guys and gals at Shelter, we will be able to communicate well with her, and that she will be an involved and conscientious as well as fun person to work with.
We signed the design proposal for Shelter and gave them a retainer check. It's a bit odd. Many of these vague plans have been in my head for six years--since I bought the house--and they have been taking more shape since the house became Pete's house, too. But things happening in your head are one thing; this is reality now. We have hired architects and chosen a builder. The next thing is the measuring and then the brainstorming and then the master plan. Somewhere in there, we need to work on financing issues, and then *BAM* we're grownups.
It's not that this is overwhelming or even daunting... it's just so darn real. I am not afraid of making a further commitment to our house; I love the house. I want to love it even more. I think I am concerned about money. I know that we will never take on more than we can handle because I try to handle our finances responsibly, but I am not certain how much of a hit I want our day-to-day life to take. We are in good shape now; we can afford to do this, but there is always the thought... "We are in good shape now; is this going to hurt us?"
I should be thinking these things, though. Those concerns will keep me realistic and help me to make reasonable choices as we move through this process.
I mentioned a pet peeve of mine a while ago, and never addressed how I have handled it. Call it take-away, to-go, take-out, however you please, but the packaging makes me crazy. There's nothing you can do with it once you have eaten what was in it. It's usually Styrofoam or waxed cardboard or plastic, and none of them are easily recyclable. When we go out to eat, we bring containers with us in case we have leftovers, and I have a set of utensils in my purse at all times. That said, we have also chosen to go to the restaurant rather than order food to go. We had luck with one local restaurant allowing us to use our own containers for take out as well, although I don't know if this is actually allowed.
My portable utensils and container are fabulous. I want to name them. This happens with any Thing I love. I have a little food processor I use to make pesto every summer and fall when the basil is ready, and that Thing still needs a name. I get wistful when I use it. The same goes for the products I have purchased from To-go Ware.
I have the utensil set and the stainless steel container. They have a list of their retailers in case you want to check them out in person, and I saw them first at the Living Green Expo 2007. I highly recommend them, and I use them a lot. The last wedding I went to had disposable everything. Had I known, I would have brought my own plates (I am not kidding). As it was, at least we did not have to use plastic flatware. At Pete's recent work cookout, we used the free Frisbees they were giving out as plates. Now I have to remember to put a couple of cloth napkins into my purse as well.
People notice it when you do these things; they often ask or comment, and then they think about what is happening around them. I find this works better than telling people that they should change. Lead by example.
I am still waiting for that sustainable pizza box, though.
I am reading a book about preparing yourself and your home for pregnancy and baby. I am not pregnant, but I am 37 going on 38, we hope to have kids, and I want to do it right. A lot of the stuff I already know or already do: I make our cleaning products, and we shop locally organic and eat whole foods, for instance. When I got to the beauty section, however, this sentence made me think:
“Women eat six to twelve pounds of lipstick in their lifetime.”
Yum. Lately, when I run out of something in my cosmetics drawer, I have been replacing that item with a less toxic product. Last night, however, I positively purged. Normally, I don’t just throw stuff away—it runs contrary to my ethics—but in this case, I made an exception. I usually don’t eat food when I don’t recognize the ingredients, and if I am going to be eating lipstick, I should apply the same rules.
In the past, I have been irritated by “sick building syndrome” and “chemical sensitivity.” Food allergies irritate me too; they seem like a western luxury. Of course, I have neither chemical sensitivity nor food allergies, so it’s easy for me to feel superior. Not fair, but easy. I am also bored by those who point out to others what they are doing wrong. It doesn’t change anything: people roll their eyes at you and move on, so I don’t do it.
With those things in mind, I try approach issues with a healthy amount of Socratic questioning and critical thinking. I look things up and get my own references for advice or statements that sound good but that require delving. In an era of talk radio “common sense” and “if you say it enough, it’s true,” it’s smart to question. If someone says to me “you should throw that out, it’s bad for you,” I won’t just chuck it in the bin. I’ll ask questions.
There are guidelines about how long makeup lasts. I am not a germophobe—I don’t worry about bacteria very much—and I rarely use up cosmetics in the recommended time frame. This means that I have had some of this stuff for over a decade, no exaggeration. I have my every day arsenal of concealer, powder, eyebrow pencil, mascara, and lip balm, and those things will stay or be replaced, but I don’t need eye shadow that has been around since college.
Bottom line: If it’s possibly bad for me, I don’t really use it, and it’s old, I see no reason to keep it or replace it.
The ingredients which cause me the most concern are
parabens and phthalates. Parabens are cosmetic preservatives, banned in Europe,
that appear to mimic estrogen and that have possible links to breast cancer.
Phthalates are toxic petroleum derivatives that have been in the news relative
to plastics, but they are also widely used in cosmetics and other grooming
products to keep them soft. Phthalates are often not listed in the ingredients, so they can be hard to track down.
If you want to learn more about this for yourself, try the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics and the Environmental Working Group’s “Skin Deep” database. It has reviews of specific products and the ingredients they contain as well as related health concerns. You don’t have to sign up to use the database, but you do have to sign up if you want to submit reports for review. The “Think Before You Pink” campaign, a project of Breast Cancer Action, was created to address the use of breast cancer in marketing campaigns, and they have specific pages regarding parabens and phthalates in cosmetics. The German website “Certified Natural Cosmetics” lists brands and products certified by the BDIH (“the Association of German Industries and Trading Firms for pharmaceuticals, health care products, food supplements and personal hygiene products”). Don’t worry; you can view the website in English. Healthy Child, Healthy World (formerly The Children’s Health Environmental Coalition) has a lot of great articles and resources regarding not only cosmetics but many other environmental issues with special concern for how they affect children.
I can live without Maybelline and Cover Girl. It was sort of freeing to go through it all and just get rid of most of it. It’s also one more thing that keeps me out of Target, which is just good financial sense. Did you know they charge a minimum fifty dollar exit fee? At least, that's what it costs me to walk out of there.
OK, I added some books to this site, in the actual "books place." I have been reluctant to do that because it goes straight to Amazon, and I want you to go straight to calling your local bookstore (preferably independent) to see if they have or can order books. That said, do that. Look up the books, see what you think, and then look around for them locally (call before you drive, unless you are in the neighborhood).
I own each of them, except for one that I checked out from the library. (Hey, yeah, that's another idea: check your library as well.) The "Clean House, Clean Planet" volume is especially dog-eared as I consult it a lot. We make our cleaning products, and due to that book, the only things I use for cleaning this house are Dr. Bronner's, baking soda, white vinegar, Borax, essential oils, and water. It's bliss.
This has nothing to do with books, but please remind me to write about the native plants I put in this year.
Oh come on. You can't use those words without an obligatory James Brown riff.
We met with Kurt from Shelter this afternoon at the house. I can tell you this now because we are all set. We have made a decision, and while I don't like to say "I won," because it was not a competition or, god forbid, a game (I dislike organized fun), well... I won.
We won.
After Kurt left, Pete said "You were right." No prompting. I hate to perpetuate the stereotype of the woman always being right (or having to believe she is always right), but there you have it. I did not ask; I did not say anything.
But I'll go back a little bit.
Shelter was the first firm with whom we met, back in April. I wrote about it. We loved them then, we love them now. I feel absolutely confident about our decision, even relieved and happy. We have chosen, and now we can move on. I think it's going to be fun.
The plan, as it stands, is to meet with a builder they have recommended, finalize the design deal (you know, papers and money and stuff), then get crazy. With ideas and designs, that is. We are looking at October-November for this phase.
Wow. It's almost like being a grown up.
Well, we're having another meeting this afternoon. The architect is coming over to the house.
I have been trying to figure out what it is that I want to gain from this meeting, and I think I have the answer: I want Pete to say "yes" to them.
For awhile, after the design/build firm gave us their proposal with detailed estimates, we were both leaning toward them. Then we lost momentum in the process due to numerous factors, me looking for a new job being the main one. As that momentum dwindled, and the heady feeling of seeing actual numbers abated, I began to lean back toward The Architects. I just had this feeling that the working relationship with them would be really good, that they were kindred spirits, and that their design ideas would be innovative and interesting while keeping with the feeling of our house and our enjoyment of bungalow style.
Pete is still leaning toward the design/build firm, I think because it's "one-stop shopping." I think they might be more expensive and not as interesting, although their kitchens are gorgeous. I find it interesting that, since the architect from the design/build firm stopped by with her agreement, she has not written or called once to follow up with us. I am trying to be analytical about this, not just emotional, but I also don't want to ignore any "gut feelings." Pete has reminded me that we are not supposed to be making friends, but hiring people to help. And I know that, but I could need to call on these people for years to come, as we are in no hurry to do everything now, so I need to feel comfortable. I don't ever want to feel like I am bothering someone or made to feel stupid--I can do that all by myself, thankyouverymuch.
I'm going to go over their design proposal, scan my floor plan, and do some mental preparation so I don't waste anyone's time, and I can still make it to yoga.
Sometimes, when I get home and check my mail, it does not even make it into the house. We have recycling bins on the porch, you see, and there are days when nothing in the mail is real. Those advertising circulars that are bigger than my neighborhood newspaper? In the bin. Random catalogs? Bin. The credit card and insurance offers go into a bag inside the back door to be used to start fires when we cook out. But I tell you, we will never grill that many burgers.
Today, I filled out the Direct Mail Association's Mail Preference Service three times: once for my new name, once for my old name, and once for my husband. It's a dollar a shot (I know, having to pay to get off a list you never asked to be on seems counter-intuitive, but this is America, and there you have it), but I hope to see a reduction in those advertising mailings.
As for the credit card and insurance mailings, there's the option to opt out as well (again, with the "when did I 'opt-in?'"). This service is the "official Consumer Credit Reporting Industry website to accept and process requests from consumers to Opt-in or Opt-out of firm offers of credit or insurance." They want to convince you to not opt out because it's in their best interest to get you to have more credit, not less (see the documentary "Maxed Out", and be prepared to be appalled), but I think that you are all savvy enough to seek out what you need, when and if you need it, and can afford to nix pre-approval offers from your mailbox. I checked it out, and it does seem to be legitimate: the FTC links to them, and I also found a number of independent blogs reviewing the service as well as its legitimacy. It feels a little freaky to put in your social security number, but I just played guinea pig for you. We'll see what happens.
There are a few companies who offer to do this for you, for a fee, and donate the cost, and I thought about it. But it was difficult to verify the legitimacy of one of the organizations, and the other cost even more, so I decided to do it myself and put the extra money toward more pints in Ireland.
The next thing to do will be to watch my mail. It will take weeks, probably around six or more, to see a change, at which point I will start contacting companies directly. There are also the mailings that say "Consumer" or "Occupant" on them. The way I understand it, most of those are bulk mail that the post office delivers to everyone, and that it is nearly impossible to get off of these lists. One general recommendation I read was to mark your change of address card as "temporary" whenever you move. This won't stop the "Occupant" mail, but it can help with other junk mail. Co-op America also has this advice.
October 1-7 is "Junk Mail Awareness Week" (who knew?); I figured I would get a jump on this.
We're still moving ahead with our remodeling plans, albeit slowly. We are trying to decide between a design/build firm and the group of architects. Hopefully, we will meet with the architects sometime soon, and they can meet the house. I am leaning toward the architects because I like them and I think that they will come up with interesting and beautiful ideas for the house that still fit into its current character and style. Pete likes the design build firm because it's a design build firm, which means one-stop shopping. I think they might be more pricey than going architect then builder. We'll see.
In the meantime, I found a great book:
"Natural Remodeling for the Not-so-green House"
by Carol Venolia and Kelly Lerner
I also found this book:
Green Building Products: The Greenspec Guide to Residential Building Materials
by Alex Wilson and Mark Piepkorn
This goes through everything from your siding to your toilet, with company contacts and information about the products. I am certain that this book will prove to be invaluable as we move ahead.
I just realized that I have been talking about my house, but you have not yet been properly introduced.
In order to do this right, I'll start at the beginning...
My memory of house shopping is not unpleasant. I drove by dozens of houses and actually walked into seven. Then I bought one. I made an offer, it was accepted, and I had no doubts. I knew when I walked into my house that it was my house. The others, nice as some of them were, did not "speak" to me. They say you will "know" when you find your house, and in my case, this was definitely true. It may not be the house you imagined; it may not even be pretty, but it's yours, and you love it.
Speaking of not pretty:
You both see a thing as it as and as it could be. The trick, throughout all of the changes, is to retain the love you first felt for it because that was what drew you in.
The awnings came down, some of the crazy foliage came out, and I had this:
Next came the porch. I wanted one. Three season porches are, well, they are ridiculous. The name is misleading, first of all, especially in Minnesota. You cannot use this space for three seasons, nothing like it. And when you can be outside you want to be OUTSIDE. The enclosed porch closed the house off to the street and the neighborhood. I wanted a porch I could sit on, wave to my neighbors from, read Harry Potter on.
A little bit of paint, many more plants, and here we are today, getting ready for the big changes:
